Chapter 21: Madness

“I thought brother already knew, it was my narrow-mindedness. Please don’t take offense, brother.” Xie Yi bowed slightly.

Su Mu looked at Yan Jiyue’s fingers nervously gripping the armrest, and recalled Li Zhujun’s previous explanation that she had never instructed any servant to tell her about the branding on Xie Yi’s body. She had already made up her mind.

She put down her teacup and said to Yan Jiyue: “Young Master Yan is not yet married, staying here for long may be inappropriate and easily cause gossip. Please return quickly.”

After speaking, she stood up, her intention to see him off very clear.

Seeing Su Mu’s downcast eyes, Yan Jiyue knew she was displeased and dared not defy her. He followed her out the door.

Juancheng was nestled among lofty mountains, with endless misty rivers and lush greenery that was pleasing to the eye. Even Luoyan Lane exuded an ink-wash elegance. Su Mu in her red attire was like the most vivid brush stroke in a landscape painting.

“You arranged for someone to do that to Xie Yi, didn’t you?” Su Mu said softly.

Yan Jiyue’s phoenix eyes flickered, his gaze evasive: “No- it wasn’t me… Amu, what are you saying?”

“Don’t call me Amu, when have we ever been so intimate?” Su Mu’s brows furrowed slightly: “I asked Teacher Li to investigate the little servant who secretly came to tell me back then. I heard he returned to his hometown. If you insist on not admitting it, I’ll go to the countryside to find him and confront him face to face for clarity.”

Yan Jiyue fell silent.

In fact, Su Mu knew that little servant had taken money from Yan Jiyue. Even if she went to the countryside to find him, he would likely keep his mouth shut.

But seeing him not speak, Su Mu became more certain of her thoughts: “I don’t understand, why do you hate Xie Yi so much that you want to destroy him?”

She didn’t understand, neither in her previous life nor now, why Yan Jiyue harbored such deep resentment towards Xie Yi.

A thin layer of sorrow spread across Yan Jiyue’s eyes: “Of course you don’t understand. In your eyes, Xie Yi is perfect – gentle and attentive, wholeheartedly taking care of you, agreeing with you on everything and never angering you. You like him, everyone knows you like him, you want to give him the best of everything in the world. If it weren’t for me refusing to divorce, you would even be willing to give him the position of primary husband.”

Su Mu knew he was talking about her previous life.

However, in her previous life, she had not intended to marry Xie Yi. If not for Xie Yi’s suicide for her sake, she would have only had sisterly feelings for him.

But she couldn’t reveal that she had also been reborn, otherwise Yan Jiyue would surely become entangled with her given his personality.

However, seeing Yan Jiyue’s aggrieved appearance, she felt angry too: “What’s wrong with liking Xie Yi? What woman doesn’t like a gentle, attentive man who agrees with her on everything? Must I like a man who mocks me every other day, incites servants to ostracize and slander me?”

Was she a masochist?

In her previous life, before she became the wealthiest woman, she endured the Yan family’s bullying constantly. After becoming wealthy, the servants’ attitudes improved, but Yan Jiyue’s attitude didn’t change one bit… except for being willing to have children with her.

Compared to Yan Jiyue, Xie Yi was practically an angel – gentle, virtuous, and talented in singing and dancing.

Every time she returned to Luofeng Garden late at night reeking of alcohol after social engagements, Xie Yi would have prepared hangover soup early, drawn a hot bath for her, and while drying her hair after the bath, he would sing exotic love songs to her.

Seeing her in a bad mood, to cheer her up, he would dance the latest Western Regions whirling dance for her, even better than the dancers at Hu Tower. All of Su Mu’s fatigue would disappear.

As for Yan Jiyue, every time he saw her return from socializing, he would only check if she had lipstick marks or rouge scent from male companions on her body, telling her not to sleep with those dirty male companions. The implication was that by mingling with these male companions, she was dirty too.

But if it weren’t for filling the holes in the Yan family’s finances, she wouldn’t have needed to drink with a group of merchants until late at night.

That year she was only seventeen, sheltered by her parents, loved by teachers and classmates. Before transmigrating, she hadn’t even drunk pineapple beer, but after transmigrating she was drinking strong liquor cup after cup until late at night.

Yan Jiyue was cold towards her, only Xie Yi always kept a light on for her.

Under these circumstances, how could she possibly be attracted to Yan Jiyue? Compared to him, Xie Yi was more like her husband, her family.

Who else should she dote on if not him? Moreover, she hadn’t mistreated Yan Jiyue all these years. What did he have to be aggrieved about here?

“You—”

“Which of my words is incorrect? I married into your family to help you and your father preserve the family property, you knew that, yet you still took your anger out on me. I considered that you’re a man and didn’t hold it against you; thinking you married a woman you didn’t like and suffered, so I kept tolerating you. I didn’t expect you to push your luck, pressing harder and harder… Xiao Ping and Hua Lu once stood right outside your door, pointing at my nose and cursing. You couldn’t possibly not have heard, but you didn’t say a word. You must have been very pleased at the time, right?” Su Mu finally couldn’t suppress the fire that had long accumulated in her heart.

“It’s not like that, I…” Yan Jiyue lowered his head, wanting to defend himself, but he knew that everything Su Mu said was true, whether before or after his rebirth, he had hurt her all the same.

Yan Jiyue’s voice softened, and he grabbed her hand: “I know I was wrong, I’ll change in the future. Amu, please forgive me.”

Su Mu swatted his hand away forcefully, the sudden strength throwing Yan Jiyue backwards, crashing heavily into the wall.

Su Mu’s gaze was cold and emotionless: “Yan Jiyue, it’s impossible between us, forever impossible.”

Yan Jiyue slid down to the ground, dazed. Looking at her eyes devoid of any warmth, he felt as if he had suddenly fallen into an ice cave. He futilely opened and closed his mouth, grief welling up in his eyes: “Amu… don’t… please, give me one more chance.”

Su Mu crouched down, and Yan Jiyue naively thought there was a glimmer of hope. Disregarding his status as a young master, and not caring about this lowly posture or whether people in Luoyan Lane would see, he grabbed her sleeve.

He clung to her sleeve, humbled to dust, his knuckles fragile and trembling as he gripped it. Anyone who saw would not believe that this person was once the proud eldest young master of the Yan family.

“Amu, I was wrong. Give me one more chance, I definitely won’t be like before. You like how Xie Yi is, I’ll become like Xie Yi. You don’t like the Yan family, I’ll leave the Yan family… I’ve humiliated you before, I was wrong, I deserve to die… You can hit me and scold me too, okay? Treat me like I treated you before!”

He knelt before her, his expression agitated to the point of madness. His expensive clothes were now disheveled in the dimly lit alley, light not reaching his body, like a miserable stray dog.

Su Mu felt he was somewhat pitiful now, but still remained unmoved.

She helped him up from the ground, her voice gentle yet cold: “I won’t treat you like you treated me before. Compared to being with you, I have many other things to do. It’s really not worth wasting time on you. Yan Jiyue, didn’t I tell you before? From now on, we’ll go our separate ways… You did well this time, leaving me no evidence to catch you. But next time, if you dare to harm Xie Yi again, I won’t show mercy.”

The expression on his face was indescribable for a moment, as if frozen, with hatred in his eyes, but not directed at her.

But Su Mu no longer wanted to see him: “You should go.”

She turned and left, not knowing that after she left, Yan Jiyue hunched over in pain, his shadow crooked and slanted on the wall, like a twisted monster: “But… he stole my wife-master.”

He hated so much.

There were so many chances for them to reconcile, but it was all because of Xie Yi that they missed them. How could he calmly stand under the same sky with Xie Yi, watching Xie Yi steal his wife-master again in this life? That was more painful than killing him.

“Sister Mu.” Xie Yi stood worriedly in the courtyard.

“What’s wrong?” Su Mu asked.

“Brother, he… did you have an argument with brother? It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have said too much.” Xie Yi said guiltily.

Su Mu shook her head: “It’s alright, this isn’t your fault.”

Come to think of it, Xie Yi’s reaction was even more sensitive than hers, exposing his weakness based on just one sentence from Yan Jiyue.

In her previous life, Xie Yi was her little strategist, often giving advice on her business. If Xie Yi were a woman, his talent would be enough to carve out a place in the world.

Su Mu had also suggested to him before to start his own business.

But Xie Yi always refused, insisting on staying secluded in the inner courtyard, even when Yan Jiyue would occasionally come over to make things difficult for him, either beating him with a paddle or slapping him.

At the time she was very confused, but now thinking about the reason Xie Yi insisted on staying in the inner courtyard to play mind games with Yan Jiyue, it was mostly likely related to her.

“But, I heard brother outside sounding so miserable.”

“No need to mind him, he’ll leave on his own after a while.”

At crucial moments, she wouldn’t soften her heart. If she was going to do something, she had to do it thoroughly. Otherwise, giving Yan Jiyue the wrong signal, making him misunderstand that there was still a chance between them, would be troublesome.

Seeing that Su Mu truly had no feelings left for Yan Jiyue, Xie Yi finally felt relieved.

“Young master, let’s go back. We’ve already disobeyed the master’s orders by sneaking out, and now you’re in this state. How am I supposed to face the master?” Xiao Ping’s voice was choked with tears.

Hearing the commotion outside, Xie Yi opened the door.

Yan Jiyue was lying on the ground in agony, his perfectly manicured fingers rubbing against the rough ground, his delicate fingers bleeding from the friction. Xiao Ping was trying to persuade him but to no avail. A smile flashed across Xie Yi’s eyes.

“Are you laughing at me?” Yan Jiyue stared at Xie Yi with bloodshot eyes, his eyes filled with crimson blood vessels. At this moment, he was standing on the edge between madness and sanity.

Xie Yi innocently lowered his head.

Yan Jiyue’s suppressed anger and despair suddenly ignited. He laughed like a madman: “You’re laughing at me? Hahaha, Xie Yi, do you think you’re better than me? Didn’t you say you didn’t know what ‘lust’ meant? Let me tell you!”

“Shut up!” Su Mu rushed out and scolded.