Chapter 38 Damn It Damn It

Qiu Shuzhi was dizzy drunk, only feeling her fingertips suddenly wet, as if being sucked and licked by something soft like clam meat, warm as if being held in someone’s mouth.

The drunkenness made everything in front of her spin. She blinked, wanting to get up and see clearly what it was, but was blindfolded with a silk ribbon.

She instinctively tried to withdraw her hand, but it was grabbed firmly.

Her hand pressed against his chest, at his wildly beating heart, as if plunging into turbulent waves.

“Cousin, stop fooling around,” she mumbled drunkenly.

With her vision covered, in the flickering candlelight, it was as if she had entered a dense fog.

“I still have to report for duty tomorrow… The Prefect doesn’t like me, if I’m late I’ll be punished with the rod…” Even drunk, Qiu Shuzhi still remembered her work.

Qiu Qiushuang was half-lying on top of her. The candlelight cast their silhouettes on the flower-patterned window paper, intimate and entangled outlines, ambiguous intertwined figures, all reflected through the candlelight.

Outside, the servants kept their eyes lowered, exchanging knowing smiles.

Childhood sweethearts were naturally a good match, things progressing naturally.

Qiu Shuzhi had no idea what the servants outside were thinking. She was extremely tired and exhausted, just wanting to sleep.

She turned over, the silk ribbon slipping from her eyes, revealing her tightly closed brows and eyes.

Qiu Qiushuang pressed closer and closer, his hot breath falling on her neck. Seeing no reaction from her, he gathered his courage and pressed against her ear, his crimson lips parting slightly.

“Official Qiu is really heartless.” Chang’an was brewing medicine in the pharmacy, the bitter medicinal smell permeating the entire room, impossible to dispel.

Although his master had overcome the high fever after falling into the water, saving his life, he was still bedridden.

Yet she was fine, carousing freely in brothels, embracing others left and right, having a great time, leaving the master alone to recuperate in bed. She hadn’t even visited once.

Chang’an felt indescribable emotions, thinking this woman was truly callous, yet… impossible to love or hate, forget or let go.

“Your Highness, please drink some medicine.” Having finished brewing, Chang’an brought the medicine to him, not daring to tell Yue Guanyi about Qiu Shuzhi’s brothel visit last night, fearing he couldn’t bear it.

Yue Guanyi had suffered a serious illness, looking even more haggard than usual.

“Has anything happened at court these past few days?” He drank the bowl of medicine in one go, letting the bitter, unpleasant taste spread in his mouth.

“Your Highness, everything has been peaceful at court these days.”

“What about the beautiful man sent by the King of Dian?” His brow still held traces of illness, but it didn’t diminish his handsome features.

“I heard he’s almost reached the capital. The Prefecture is preparing to arrange reception.”

“Keep a close eye on him.” Yue Guanyi’s expression was somber.

Spies reported that the beautiful man sent by the King of Dian was from a Miao village, with bewitching good looks, every move captivating and extremely alluring. With the King of Dian’s backing, he was the Qin family’s biggest competitor.

Moreover, the Miao villages were typically hidden in deep mountains and old forests shrouded in miasma, teeming with poisonous insects and snakes, which gave Miao people an innate talent for using poisons. Although all men entering the palace were thoroughly inspected by palace servants, one must still be extremely cautious.

“Yes,” Chang’an responded.

Yue Guanyi lowered his head, silent for a moment: “How has Official Qiu been these past few days? Did the Empress Dowager summon and punish her?”

Chang’an lowered his head, saying glumly: “Your Highness need not worry, Official Qiu is doing very well, nothing happened to her.” One confidant after another.

First, there was the devoted service of the famous courtesan, then the gentle and virtuous cousin’s attentive care. Enjoying such romantic fortune, how could she still remember the sickly prince? She had probably forgotten even this guard completely.

Yue Guanyi frowned slightly: “What do you mean by that sarcastic tone?”

Chang’an was instantly intimidated, his throat sour as he said: “Your Highness, Official Qiu went to Yichun House last night, and even requested a famous courtesan for company.”

Yue Guanyi’s face immediately changed. Anger surged in his heart, accumulating in his chest. He covered his mouth and coughed heavily, almost coughing up a lung.

“Your Highness!” Chang’an hurriedly patted his back to help him breathe.

“Your Highness, Official Qiu has always been surrounded by beauties, she clearly has no place for you in her heart.” He said indignantly.

“Shut up! You have no right to comment on Official Qiu’s affairs,” Yue Guanyi forcefully pushed away his hand, his thin frame seeming about to cough apart in the next second, his pale and emaciated face flushing with a sickly red.

Chang’an sighed helplessly: “Your Highness, I’m just feeling unfair on your behalf.”

Yue Guanyi clutched his chest, saying emotionally: “I don’t need that, shut your mouth.”

He didn’t need anyone to feel unfair for him. He wasn’t worthy of Qiu Niang to begin with. Let alone just visiting a brothel, even if she were to marry husbands or take concubines, keep eight or ten male companions outside, he had no right to say a word.

To Qiu Niang, he was just an irrelevant outsider.

He had long understood this, had long reminded himself, that this day would come sooner or later. He should recognize his place. If Qiu Niang had found a man she liked, he should be happy for her.

But why? Why did he feel so sad, why did his heart hurt so much?

He felt like he was about to die from the pain.

Clutching his chest tightly, his heartbeat seemed to stop the instant he heard Chang’an’s words, cut and torn apart, piercing to the core.

Chang’an was both angry and anxious: “Your Highness, you are the eldest prince of Da Qi, commanding thousands of imperial guards, with claws and fangs spread throughout the country, holding the lives and fortunes of all officials in your hands. What can’t you have? Qiu Shuzhi isn’t anything special. You could easily find other officials’ daughters, better than her, with more prestigious backgrounds. Why must you hang yourself on this one tree? She’s not worth it!”

“Slap!” A crisp slap landed on Chang’an’s face.

“You insolent fool!” Yue Guanyi’s eyes were filled with hatred, about to burst: “Qiu Niang doesn’t need to be compared to anyone.”

Anyone in this world compared to her would be reaching too high.

How dare Chang’an slander her like this. What’s so good about her?

Everything about her is good, perfect to the extreme in every way.

She is his Bodhisattva. He would willingly cut his flesh and blood to worship her for a lifetime, only hoping she might show a moment of mercy, lower her head, and look at him once.

He is her devotee. Just quietly accompanying her, guarding her, he already feels he has borrowed all the blessings of his next life. Even if in the next life he becomes a cow or horse, trampled in the dust, a slave for life, he would be willing and never regret it.

Yet even so, he felt himself too base, that his lowly affection defiled her.

Chang’an’s eyes widened, his face filled with fear. He actually… He fell to his knees with a thud.

“This slave knows his error, begging Your Highness for mercy. This slave spoke wrongly and will never dare again.”

Following Yue Guanyi for so many years had almost made him forget the proper distance between master and servant, forgetting that the person before him was known for his cold temperament. Even though he had followed Yue Guanyi for many years, he was still just a slave, who could be killed or replaced at any time. His seeming glory was actually all given by Yue Guanyi.

Chang’an wished he could slap himself. For so many years, he had always been cautious, gauging Yue Guanyi’s mood at all times, never saying anything he shouldn’t.

But why was it that as soon as it involved Qiu Shuzhi, he couldn’t control himself?

Why? He didn’t actually dislike her, yet he desperately hoped to separate them.

“Spoke wrongly?” Yue Guanyi’s pale face suddenly looked like an evil ghost: “You indeed spoke wrongly. What’s wrong with a woman visiting a brothel? What right do you have to slander her?”

Chang’an felt cold all over, his hair standing on end: “This slave knows his error, this slave knows his error.”

“If I hear such words again, don’t blame me for ripping out your tongue. Get out!”

Yue Guanyi’s eyes were as sharp as knife blades, his smile chilling to the bone, yet he didn’t know these knives were also cutting into his own heart, a numb yet clear pain extending through every nerve.

One sentence pulled Chang’an back from the brink of death. He kowtowed heavily on the ground, banging his head until it bled: “Thank you for Your Highness’s mercy, thank you for Your Highness’s mercy!”

He prepared to retreat from the room like fleeing from disaster.

“Wait!” Yue Guanyi suddenly called out to him.

Chang’an’s blood instantly ran cold, and he asked tremblingly: “Does Your Highness have any other instructions?”

“What’s that man’s name?”

“What?” Chang’an’s brain was flooded with blood, not reacting for a moment.

Yue Guanyi asked through gritted teeth, with hatred: “What’s the name of that male courtesan who served her?”

“The male courtesan is called Ting’er,” Chang’an hurriedly answered.

Ting’er?

He had never envied a man so much before.

And that man was the male courtesan he once hated the most.

That man was truly lucky. The person he had admired for over ten years, someone he could only look at from afar, had so easily chosen his card.

“Is he a virgin courtesan? If not, how many women has he served before?”

“He’s not a virgin courtesan, just someone who sells his body. He’s the top courtesan at Yichun House, the number of women he’s served is countless,” Chang’an said fearfully.

Yue Guanyi’s phoenix eyes narrowed dangerously, his whole body emanating a chill like the netherworld. A dirty, cheap thing used by countless people dared to serve her, damn it!

Seeing Yue Guanyi’s expression, Chang’an’s eyes rolled, and he tentatively asked: “Does Your Highness want to deal with that male courtesan?”

Yue Guanyi gave him a cold glance: “You know what to do.”

“This slave understands,” Chang’an retreated like escaping for his life.

In the empty room, only Yue Guanyi remained, frail and leaning against the bed. The chilling sharpness that made people tremble had all faded away. Like an old man, he gazed dejectedly at the ceiling beam.

He opened his collar, caressing the words carved on his chest. Bitterness flowed endlessly in his heart, unable to be torn or broken, the pain never ceasing.

He once belonged to her too.

Although he was only registered under her mother’s name, it was she who paid to buy him.

He was so close, just a little more and he could have gone home with her, been kept in her back courtyard, become her private slave. But because only half of the slave character had been carved on his body, he was cast into the abyss from then on.

Could that man serve her well? When she was aroused, would she also caress the slave character on his body?

“Qiu Niang,” his lips trembled, his pale nails digging deep into his flesh. Only by torturing himself in this almost self-harming way could he alleviate the pain in his heart.