Chapter 33 Green Tea’s Heartbreak (Part 2)

“Young Master Xu, what did you want to tell me?”

Xu Lu Cha remained silent. After he moved the steaming teapot away, Zhang Meng saw a large puddle of water on the table in front of him, his tears still splashing onto the water stains on the table. However, he was still biting his lower lip hard, silently washing the teacups and pouring tea for her.

Zhang Meng felt a bit uncomfortable: “Young Master Xu, are you alright?”

Xu Lu Cha moved the teacup filled with tea in front of Zhang Meng. His beautiful red-rimmed eyes filled with tears, staring at her intently, he said hoarsely, “I just want to ask you one thing, did you ever love me?”

Zhang Meng paused, opening her mouth with difficulty: “Young Master Xu, I’ve always considered you a friend…”

Xu Lu Cha’s hand gripping the teacup tightened, hot tea splashed out and dripped onto his hand. His snow-white hand immediately turned red, but he seemed to feel no pain. After taking a few deep breaths, he said in a suppressed voice, “You’re lying to me.”

“Young Master Xu, please don’t be like this…”

With a “swoosh”, Xu Lu Cha pointed his folding fan directly at Zhang Meng’s throat, the sharp knives at the tip of the fan glinting coldly: “You’re lying to me!” His pale lower lip was bitten bloody.

Zhang Meng leaned her head back slightly, avoiding the knife’s tip, her hand quickly grabbing Xu Lu Cha’s wrist: “Young Master Xu! Please be rational!”

Xu Lu Cha violently shook off her hand, shouting in a low voice: “Who is he? I’ll kill him!”

“Constable Zhang, what’s happening?” Lin Hao’s voice came from outside the compartment, and soon Lin Hao’s tall figure stepped into the compartment.

Xu Lu Cha’s vicious eyes swept fiercely towards Lin Hao, hatefully opening his mouth: “Is it this ugly man?”

His snow-white fingers suddenly gripped the fan handle tightly, he quickly walked towards Lin Hao, the fan tip slashing fiercely towards Lin Hao, the sharp knife flashing a cold light in mid-air. Zhang Meng hurriedly raised her sword hilt to block Xu Lu Cha’s attack. Xu Lu Cha pushed her away, the fan tip continuing to stab towards Lin Hao, fast and vicious. Zhang Meng blocked a few times, really unable to bear it anymore, she snatched the folding fan from his hand and threw it into the corner: “Xu Lu Cha! Stop this nonsense! If you keep acting like this, I’ll take you back to the government office!”

Xu Lu Cha whimpered, opened his arms and tightly embraced Zhang Meng, fiercely biting her lips. His hot tears fell on Zhang Meng’s lips, Zhang Meng tasted the bitter tears and salty blood.

Zhang Meng pushed him away forcefully, Xu Lu Cha stumbled back a few steps.

His beautiful red eyes stared at her intently, waves surging in his eyes, it took a long time before he calmed down, but it revealed a cold despair and hatred. He said coldly, “I was truly blind.”

He had been worried about her all day, her one word could make him forget himself in sweetness, and also make him despair as if falling into hell. He had already planned everything for their future, but never thought that the one she loved was someone else. His emotions of joy and sorrow for her all along were simply a joke!

He picked up the folding fan from the corner and walked towards the outside of the compartment. His fists were bleeding from being clenched so tightly. He paused: “Zhang Meng, who do you think you are, nothing but a small constable. I have talent, looks, and a wealthy background. How many women in Cloud City are begging to marry me? I’m not desperate for you.”

After speaking coldly, he lifted his foot and walked out of the compartment.

…

“Young Master, you should eat something, you haven’t eaten for days.”

Zi Yi entered carrying food, looking worriedly at Xu Lu Cha lying on the bed.

Xu Lu Cha was lying on his side facing inward, his thin snow-white undergarment casually open, revealing his snow-white shoulders and attractive collarbones. His black long hair was scattered on the bed. His face was pale, lips chapped, beautiful eyes slightly closed, long eyelashes casting faint shadows on his eyelids.

“Young Master?” Zi Yi walked towards the red wood carved flower bed, about to push Xu Lu Cha’s shoulder.

Xu Lu Cha’s beautiful eyes suddenly opened, he spoke coldly: “Get out!”

“Young Master, why are you tormenting yourself like this? Constable Zhang may not care about you.”

Xu Lu Cha threw the porcelain pillow at Zi Yi: “I told you to get out!”

Zi Yi tilted his body, dodging it, the porcelain pillow shattered on the ground, pieces hitting Zi Yi’s calf. Zi Yi crouched down, picking up the pieces one by one.

Xu Lu Cha was breathing heavily, weakly propping himself up, his bare feet stepping on the ground. Sharp pieces pierced the bottom of his feet, blood quickly gushing out, but he seemed to feel no pain.

“Don’t mention that person in front of me!” he shouted angrily.

Xu Lu Cha walked barefoot to the desk, messily flipping through the neatly arranged books and papers. Suddenly, his hand paused, he pulled out a letter from under a book.

“When will you come to marry me?”

The graceful handwriting on it pierced his eyes, he violently tore the letter to pieces.

Even if he wanted to try hard to forget her, wanted to casually tell himself that he wasn’t desperate for her. But he couldn’t help but miss her, miss her every moment. Every time he thought of her, his heart would ache dully, as if a blunt knife was stabbing the softest part of his heart.

Xu Lu Cha clutched his chest, breathing heavily. His feet were still bleeding, blood soaking the carpet on the floor.

“Young Master, your feet…”

…

In the deep of night.

The light green gauze curtain swayed slightly. Inside the curtain, Xu Lu Cha’s eyes were tightly closed, his long eyelashes trembling.

“You may have trapped my person, but you can’t trap my heart. I love him, please let me go back.” The woman’s face was cold.

“Ying, I’ve always only seen you as a younger brother. We can never be together.”

“Let me go!”

…

“Zhang Meng!” Xu Lu Cha suddenly opened his eyes.

It was pitch black in front of him, the woman’s ruthless eyes still replaying in his mind. He clutched his chest, hot tears sliding down his cheeks.

He curled his fingers, biting them hard with his mouth, as if the pain in his hand could make him ignore the dull pain in his chest. Until he tasted the sweet bloody taste in his mouth, he finally loosened his bite.

He curled up, murmuring that person’s name.

In his dream, he was a god who lived only for her, willing to do anything for her, yet couldn’t compare to that worthless mortal she spoke of. Whether in dreams or in reality, was it impossible for him to be with her?

Why did she have to fall in love with someone else, why didn’t she love him?

What was wrong with him, Xu Lu Cha? He had beauty, talent, was the dream lover of so many women in Cloud City, so many women crying and shouting to marry him. Why couldn’t she see his good points?

Xu Lu Cha bit his lower lip hard, his chapped lower lip oozing red blood drops.

Thinking of her during the day, dreaming of her at night. That hateful woman, if she didn’t love him, why was she so kind to him, why did she always tease his heart? When he fell in love with her, she innocently told him that she only saw him as a friend.

Hateful! Despicable!

At dawn, Xu Lu Cha walked barefoot out of bed. He lit the oil lamp, spread out the rice paper on the table, picked up the ink brush, dipped it in ink, and with a trembling hand, quickly wrote characters.

After a long time, he put down the brush. When the ink on the rice paper dried, he folded the paper and put it in an envelope.

Not long after, Zi Yi entered carrying clean water.

Xu Lu Cha handed the envelope to Zi Yi: “Give this to Zhang Meng.” His voice was hoarse.

Zi Yi looked up at Xu Lu Cha, seeing his pale face, swollen red eyes, gaunt cheeks, completely unlike his usual clear and otherworldly appearance, he felt somewhat sad.

In his impression, the young master had always been confident, calm and collected, radiant. Even when the master and others tripped him up, even when the mistress believed the master’s words and severely punished him, even when the young master was tormented as a child when he was first sent to the Xu family, Zi Yi had never seen the young master so haggard.

“Yes.” Zi Yi took the envelope, responding in a low voice.

Zhang Meng made the young master so upset, Zi Yi did resent her somewhat. He didn’t have any improper thoughts about Zhang Meng as the young master said. He always thought Zhang Meng was a good person, he just wanted to be friends with her. Although Zhang Meng was his first friend, although he treasured her very much, but since she hurt the young master, he would no longer be friends with her.

…

After Zi Yi left, Xu Lu Cha sat on the bed, staring blankly at the paper bag in his hand. This was the first gift Zhang Meng gave him. Although the pastries inside were eaten, he always couldn’t bear to throw away the bag.

In the letter, he wrote many things he wanted to say to Zhang Meng. He had never used such a begging tone to write a letter to anyone before. He had already given up his dignity, he hoped she could accept him.

However, when Zi Yi returned, he brought the news that Zhang Meng “couldn’t accept his feelings”.

Xu Lu Cha’s snow-white fingers tightly clutched the paper bag, the fresh blood in his palm soaking the paper bag. After a long time, he slowly loosened the paper bag.

Zhang Meng’s smiling face seemed to appear before his eyes, he reached out his hand, gently tracing her face. A bitter smile emerged at the corners of his mouth.

“Zhang Meng, ah Zhang Meng.”

You are truly ruthless enough.

Xu Lu Cha’s body softly fell down.

Zi Yi cried out in surprise, hurrying forward to support Xu Lu Cha. Xu Lu Cha’s body was burning hot, obviously he had a fever. Zi Yi was extremely anxious, he helped Xu Lu Cha to the bed, settled him properly, then hurriedly went out to find a doctor.

…

The sun was scorching, Zhang Meng sat outside the teahouse drinking tea. But she was absent-minded, Old Lin called her many times, but she didn’t hear.

“Constable Zhang!” Old Lin helplessly patted her shoulder, “What’s wrong with you recently? You’re always distracted.”

Zhang Meng came back to her senses, smiling at her a bit embarrassedly: “It’s nothing, I just thought of something, feeling a bit uneasy.”

In the morning when she was about to go out on patrol, Zi Yi came to deliver a letter to her again.

Xu Lu Cha’s letter was several pages long, the handwriting messy, you could see that when he wrote this letter, his mood was not calm. In the letter, he wrote about his feelings for her, wrote about his desire for her. He also used careful language to ask her to change her mind, he would change for her.

Zhang Meng had never been pursued by a man before, she also didn’t know how to reject a man without hurting his heart. She knew she and Xu Lu Cha were impossible, she cared about Yang Qing in her heart, she wouldn’t accept Xu Lu Cha, otherwise it would be unfair to Xu Lu Cha.

Rather than being ambiguous with him, it’s better to tell him directly that they were impossible. A short pain is better than a long one, ending his thoughts early was good for both her and him.

She did consider Xu Lu Cha a friend, she naturally hoped Xu Lu Cha would be well. She hoped Xu Lu Cha could forget her soon, find his own good match early.

Although this was what she thought, since rejecting Xu Lu Cha, she always had an inexplicable feeling of melancholy in her heart. So much so that it made her unable to concentrate on work these past few days.